Mommy facts we should start quoting

Mommy's, did you always had a gnawing feeling that you were doing more than your partner when it came to raising a child? Well, you were correct. Here's what Happy Worker , who are into custom made toys for everyone who likes toys, found when they scoured World Wide Web for statistics and facts.

Diaper facts: 7,300 diapers will be changed by baby's 2nd birthday. While moms take 2 minutes, 5 seconds (please do the math for how much time is spent in a year) , vs. 1 minute, 36 seconds for dads

I disagree with the fact that mom's take longer, because it's just not right. Further, the time taken gets shorter and shorter as mom gets her nappy rhythm and many more seconds are saved when introduce pull-up pants in your diaper routine.

Attention & care: Preschooler requires mom's attention once every 4 minutes or 210 times/day. Also, preschooler moms spend 2.7 hours/day on primary childcare, vs. 1.2 hours/day for dads

So, that's why average mother is not a social being. They just don't have the time.

Above is the reason why parent's start wearing sacks and eat McDonalds and instant noodles. And that lousy weight gain is the reason why average mother starts ignoring celebrity moms/any other mom who shed their pregnancy pounds instantly.

Surviving the "kindergarden admission" ordeal

I have been bugging Surabhi Pande Pant to share her motherhood experiences on MommyBegins. And she finally conceded. Yay.

She has 2 beautiful and absolutely adorable girls who keep her on a spin 24x7. Her younger daughter is about to start school and we all know how difficult the process of search-selection--preparation-admission is. So here's how this mommy cracked the school admission ordeal without traumatising herself or her daughter.

Our search for a school began when our dear daughter (DD) was just about 1.5 yrs old. With forms submitted, we eagerly awaited an interview call, which would be sometime - a year later. Fast forward- YES, the day finally did come.
We were going to have an interview, for which my now 2.5 yr old was all prepared for -- nursery rhymes to alphabets to colours to shapes and many more such ' must know' things. But, of course being an international school, it turned out to be an observation based interview.
I walked into the nursery classroom, holding little hands of my daughter in my nervous sweaty hands. My daughter was greeted by a teacher with a big warm smile and a ' hi-five'. The kids were encouraged to play with the various options that were placed in front of them - play dough, water play, blocks, paints, toys etc. The teachers just sat at the far end of the class making observations. With fear gripping me about what my daughter would do next, I looked around for her. She had comfortably seated herself by the blocks and begun making a tower. She even managed to exchange a few smiles and play along with a couple of kids.
At the end I walked out of the classroom like a proud mommy. No, we didn't get through the interview (actually results are still awaited), but only a toddler's Mum would know that it's like a battle won, if your child didn't fight for a toy or throw a major fit over some insignificant thing.
That day indeed was more like a test for me, but for now as I write my experience down, it only brings a big smile to my face- a smile of relief indeed.

You did good Mommy. Keep us posted on that admission call.

Gross things I do as a mom

This is what happened yesterday.

I was playing peek-a-boo with my 15-month old boi last evening. The 3-seconds that I took to shut-open my eyes, my boi located a teddy puff on the floor and promptly popped it in his mouth. Before I realised what he was up to the little piece of cereal had already dissolved in his mouth.

Yes, he ate food off the floor. And I did not raise an alarm or book a visit to the paediatrician.

Before you make up your mind that I’m some sort of dirt-junkie and that my boi is actually being raised by wolves, hear me out. I’m a very clean person (at times obsessive about cleanliness) who does not eat food off the floor. But in parenting, one makes exceptions everyday.

There have been occasions when a piece of food like a chip, or fruit or some chicken nugget will fall on the floor. 99% of the time, I pick it up within milliseconds. Do I eat it? YES, unless it’s visibly filthy or fallen in some sort of gooey mush.

I apply the 5-second rule here. If the food item that I'm about to put in my mouth has been on the floor for longer than 5-seconds then it can probably be discarded. But anything less than that is still edible.

Sounds gross? Then wait. You have seen nothing yet.

Off-putting scenarios are a big part of any parent's (read mom) job description. Before I had kids, my biggest fear was how will I change diapers. But I soon realised that changing dirty diaper is cakewalk as compared to cleaning say a tiny sinus-infected nose, or wiping off that puke smell from all over yourself or potty training.

Sounds nasty. Eh? I have probably cleaned a dozen pukes till date and still alive to share my adventures. And mind you, cleaning up a kid’s puke sounds grisly only until the first time your kid pukes on you. After that, your main aim is to put your hands out fast enough to catch vomit from getting all over your child & you.

And neither compares to the first time a Mom/Dad has to introduce her child to the wonderful world of anal suppositories (used during high temperature scenarios). Early on in my mommyhood, I realised that if I was not quick enough in changing diapers, there was a 70% chance that the little guy would pee on/at me, instead. Oh, also the best way to tell if the baby's got a poopy diaper is to just lean over and take a whiff.

Reality check. Being a mother somehow makes everything else seem just a little less gross.

PS: Star, celebrity moms seem to be pretty much as gross as I am. Do read, A collection of pretty gross things they do for their kids

Mommy & son grow up

I have to admit that when I came to Singapore, with a 3-month old baby in Feb 2013, nothing about living in this fast-laned country looked appealing to me. I had no immediate family (grandparents, friends and the handy helpers that one has access to in India) and honestly, I was scared terrified of being alone with a baby all day long. What if I could not understand what he was crying for? What will I do if my husband's phone is unreachable in the event of an emergency? What if I slip in the bathroom, crack bones and baby left unattended?

Get the picture?

I was a stay-at-home-mom then and it can be a super hard life with unwarranted levels of stress on days. Housework, stocking grocery, laundry, get the cooking underway, eat healthy to be able to feed baby, ensure baby is cleaned-diapered-entertained etc. The list of what needed to be done in a house in insanely endless. And mind you keeping a few month old baby entertained is no joke.

My escape was taking walks with my baby tucked in his pram. One evening while strolling at my neighbourhood, United Square mall, it suddenly hit me why I saw so many moms with kids in tow in malls at any single day. Because everyone was like me! They were looking to keep their babies bewitched with mall, lights, bustling crowds, and get some exercise (walk walk walk) as they covered the length and breadth of the precinct. It's all free AC, cheap food in foodcourts, some good shopping options and clean baby rooms for a quick diaper change. Win-Win all around. It is also a huge stress-buster for moms to be in adult surroundings.

This was complete opposite of how things were in India. With most neighborhoods in India comprising of crowded markets & encroached footpaths, there's hardly a decent space to push the pram. Not to mention the blaring horns from all around that will in all likelihood scare the baby. Trying (and failing) to soothe a wailing baby, on road with everyone looking at you questioningly can make one feel most lubberly. Thus it is a rare sight in India to see new moms with babies in public places. Perhaps, the trend is changing in metros or a few posh neighbourhoods, but bulk of Indian babies have restricted exposure to outside world in early months.

It is not just the malls in Singapore where moms and babies are welcome. It's a liberating feeling to be able to get out of house, onto the pavement with a pram and start walking. There are rarely any blaring horns, you won't have cars or bikers jumping lanes and coming dangerously close to pedestrian areas, traffic signals are followed, pavements will never be blocked with wrongly parked vehicles, and most importantly the roads are designed to be wheelchair/pram friendly.

Most public places (malls, metros stations, bus interchanges even neighbourhood shopping centres) have dedicated spaces for kids & babies, complete with some swings in a corner. There are clean baby rooms in most malls that are terrific spaces for moms who want to breastfeed, or just quieten down a fussy child.


Even more amazing is the fact that Singapore, in its current political state, has only been around for 50 years. Yet, it has been able to think and plan its infrastructure for the 21st century and ahead. It leads the world in education, banking, shipping and has created a everyday existence of unrivaled cleanliness, safety and stability. In Singapore even petty theft is uncommon. I know it sounds like a rehearsed version of Singapore but for I come from a country which is still struggling to get its basic infrastructure in place and so it's hard to ignore the built-in conveniences of this country.

If you are raising a child in Singapore or any such metropolis you would have probably used each of the facilities I have listed here, which we all often taken for granted, but mind you urban infrastructure is a blessing we fail to rightly acknowledge.

PS: Here's one of my favourite guides to Singapore for parents. Via Sassy Mama

'Will never ever regret being a mommy'

MommyBegins has a new blogger mommy in the house. 

Say Hello to Mansi Taneja. A fellow first-time mommy to a handsome honeybun and a regular reader of this blog. Show her some extra love and leave plenty of feedback so that we can get her back or perhaps as a regular contributor. 

As a journalist in most of my stories I find that the ongoing “economic slowdown” inadvertently finds a way to get a mention. Ironically, as far as the story of my own life goes that much needed slowdown has eluded me. Motherhood it seems keeps has kept all such things at bay.

When I was told by the doctor that I had been blessed with a baby boy almost 18 months back, I was a little disappointed as we had a strong intuition of having a baby girl, for who even the names were shortlisted. But, life had its own plans. Few hours later when the nurse came to me with the baby – the first time I saw him actually – in that moment my life changed forever. Ever since, he has become my priority, my love, my friend and my baby.

It has been a roller coaster ride. While I would not have left my job anyway, it became even more necessary because of various financial liabilities. I wanted my independence – of spending money where I want, of driving the second car without thinking of budget, to give all comforts to the little new entrant in the family and above all for my own self. 

With in-laws settled in Kerala, my own mother took it upon herself to manage her first grandchild while I was away at work. So, we have to shuttle between houses every 2-3 weeks so that no home gets neglected, one in Delhi and another one near the border of Delhi. Husbands are taken care of – mine and my mom’s of course. Packing and unpacking has been my routine every third weekend now for more than a year since I came back to office and there is no alternative. Not to mention cooking and doing other small chores before starting off for work every day. None of this has made me any slimmer or even left anytime to focus on my health, habits.  

At times, guilt pangs do come and knock my door but somehow I have been able to leave it aside for the good, I guess. It’s been a year of no personal stuff as well. No reading, no writing, no late night parties, no weekend trips planned randomly. Dressing sense has become weird, mirror seems to be an enemy, TV does not exist, proper breakfast and dinner never happens and sleep has become the biggest luxury I cannot afford. With all this going on you are not allowed to fall sick or even feel tired. 

But, not even for a minute I have regretted being a mommy. It’s the best thing that can ever happen, it’s a bliss though exhaustion and forgetting what is normal, comes bundled with it. Right from the time he held my finger, took his first step to his first word, the journey has been amazing to say the least. There could be nothing more relaxing than seeing your child play and run around your home. 

And the journey has also become a learning one for me as I have understood what patience is, though am yet to perfect it, and how I should get up, every time I fall down and move ahead, be curious about new things and love unconditionally. My son does not know yet what a mother is. But, I definitely know what motherhood is, it’s all about selfless love and the bond.

Play with me?

A very beautifully written blog from Mom, Aimee.

I am a workaholic. If I am not working on something –anything –I feel useless. Being a stay-at-home mom for the majority of the week certainly does require doing a lot of work. I change diapers, I am potty-training my daughter, I make three meals a day, I do the dishes and laundry, I pay the bills, I take the kids grocery shopping, I clean the house (sort of), I shovel, I keep track of our schedule of activities and events, I bathe the children, and I try to get some writing and reading done when the kiddos are sleeping. Yeah, I am running an entire operation over here.

I can see her doing all of the above. Just as I and possibly every other mom does, day after day.

I am a workaholic. If I am not working on something –anything –I feel useless. Being a stay-at-home mom for the majority of the week certainly does require doing a lot of work. I change diapers, I am potty-training my daughter, I make three meals a day, I do the dishes and laundry, I pay the bills, I take the kids grocery shopping, I clean the house (sort of), I shovel, I keep track of our schedule of activities and events, I bathe the children, and I try to get some writing and reading done when the kiddos are sleeping. Yeah, I am running an entire operation over here.

Do note the uniformity in thoughts between Aimee or any other parenting/mother blog you come across. Parenting facts, I tell you, are universal.

Read the whole blog here.

 

Weekend dilemma

There are relaxed weekends and then there are weekends that demand one to be even more energetic than normal weekdays. The latter are more or less a regular feature for parents with young toddlers & tykes, who have to be taken to activity/gym classes, accompanied for play dates, enrolled in some parent-toddler workshop which has become a norm for most urban households, parent-accompanied visits to playground, etc. The list gets longer every weekend and just 2 days are supremely insufficient to cram in 'stuff' that one has to attend to.

Ever since I have resumed work, weekdays have begun to seem like cakewalk in comparison to what I am left to tackle with on weekends. Even if I turn a blind eye to the household chores, dirt balls lurking in corners, stained bedsheets & pillow covers, and make dead certain that no one dares to open the unkempt wardrobe of mine, it's hard to ignore a child who starts his day totally aware that it's your (and partner's) day off.

By the way, I can't contend that only working parents face the above quandary. Everyone who is raising a child must probably go through the same rut, with varying degrees of difficulty.
I am secretly just glad to see all around me that parent's in general have so much work backed up that they probably would need more than 7 days and 24 hours everyday to get through the list regularly. I am not the only loser out there.

Many would gleefully highlight that children, like a lot of other delightful things in life, are usually a choice made by two adults. And the decision to have them implies that you’re willing to make adjustments and that the world doesn’t adapt to your needs all the time. I agree. I just need my body to listen to me too. This darned brain sends 'I-am-bone-tired' signals to all body parts and that's pretty much the end of my resolution to get 'things done' on weekends. Hence the backlog and rants and the reason why this blog exists.

While I am at the topic, let me also emphasise why parents I put myself through these unachievable targets, week after week. You see, there is this gnawing feeling—unreasonable as it may be— that I have to stay involved in every moment of my son's life or else I’ll miss out forever. There's that little voice that tells me to be always present or I’ll be pushed into the fringes of his life.

My guilt demands that I push myself harder than what I can actually hope to achieve. That's the biggest reason why on weekends when my son is awake, I’m constantly in his face trying to create memories. I keep talking to him even when I have an official email to send, I have stuffed virtual clouds with photos of his puttering and even when I cook or clean, I keep him close by so that I bond. 

Guilt monster has a way of masquerading as maternal instinct. #FactofMotherhood