How often do you hear yourself saying this to your husband or even a boy friend, “You make me feel . . .” and the end of the sentence depends on the feeling of the day, the hour, or the minute!
You make me feel like a million dollars.
You make me feel worthless.
You make me feel beautiful and sexy. (Though this one happens rarely)
You make me so angry! ... So happy! ... So sad! ... So mad! ... So bad! ...So glad!
You make me feel like I don’t do anything all day long.
I think of myself as an intuitive person who’s perceptions->emotion->thought process is very quick and hard to pin down. It's very alien for me to actually think purposely about things. Whereas my husband is a slow processor, thinking things through methodically over a long period of time. Needless to say that can create some difficulties.
But I am learning the hard way. I realise that I need to separate my feelings from my husband. Instead of saying, “You make me feel…” I say, “I feel…” I have come to believe that it is okay to feel lonely, afraid, or hurt, but you have to own those feelings as your own without blaming them on others.
We Indians are emotional fools and that's perhaps why we need to strike that invisible balance enough togetherness to survive and enough separateness to thrive.
4 comments:
You are bang on sweetheart when u say "need to strike that invisible balance enough togetherness to survive and enough separateness to thrive."
Just like you have no choice of the place you were born, marriage can work well when arranged and, more and more Indian couples continue to prove this to be so.
But your point of view is very fresh approach to what we should expect from marriage ....
Well written... :)
we need to understand that long after 'YOU' & 'I' become 'WE', there is still a 'YOU' & I'
This is so true....
I feel the same all the time... keep blaming others for all the bad feelings....
I am learning just as we take ownership for the good feelings need to take ownership for the bad ones as well...
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